I personally am an “amiable” personality type, which means that I am somewhat shy and compassionate towards the emotions of others, and as such, I am by nature more susceptible to being manipulated than others. Because of that, I only have very few true friends.
That's because, a true friend, as i define it, is someone who would stop their own life to come to help me despite the fact that there was no incentive or quite possibly even risk or pain for them to do so. That is true friendship to me and it falls right up there with a level of love that is as powerful as the bond of a family.
Frankly i can tell you, only a few people in my life (i know) meet this criteria. You'd never know how scary it is when i think about it, and then found that there are actually close to zero -- friends who meet the criteria above. Man, it really frightens and horrify me. It shows one BIG word, -- SELF-CENTERED, SELFISH !! Repent people !! Turn away from it !!
There are five simple rules that you can analyze to see if your friend is truly a friend from the heart, or someone who is just out to get what they want from you. A good friend will score at least a 3 out of 5 and a genuine friend will score NO less than 5 out of 5.
1. Self-sacrifice
This is the willingness to help you even though it might be a burden, pain, or risk for themselves. You may do everything to help her out, but if and when you need help, would she give you back the same level of help that you extended to her? If the answer is “no,” then be careful. !!
2. Genuine time-sharing
This is an important test of the true synergy in a friendship. Ask yourself, when you spend time together, are you spending time just to enjoy each other’s company and companionship in connected synergy with no other strings attached? …or do you find that you only spend time together when your “friend” needs help or something from you?
If the answer is the latter, then be careful—this is a sign of a manipulator.3. Honesty
This again is another big one on the list because it signifies the level of interpersonal connectedness of the relationship.
A true friend will tell you personal things, with complete trust that you will not use it against them later on. Also a true friend will not keep information from you even though it is something that you might not want to hear or that might hurt you, if they felt it was the right thing to do.
For example, I recently told a friend of mine how I felt about her, knowing that she wouldn’t like hearing it from me, but the obligation that I had on being honest was more important to me because I valued this friendship.
4. Interest
How interested is the other person about your life? If you are doing something important, do they call and follow up with you? If they don’t seem interested about you or your life at all, then be careful.
The deeper the friendship, the better the questions they will ask of you. Real friends will want to know how you are emotionally and physically, how you are doing professionally, how your heart is doing, and they seem to dig a little deeper than the superficial “elevator talk” that usually just consists of how your day is going and what’s new.
5. Integrity
This is the ability to keep your word and do as you say you will. I’ve noticed that with fake friends, their integrity level is not so high. If they say they will call you tomorrow and don’t, then that is a lack of integrity. If they say they will do something and either forget or use the more infamous “I’m too busy today,” line then they lack integrity.
On the note of “busy,” in my time management courses, I tell people that so much can be done on any given day and it just comes down to proper planning and knowing you’re your priorities are. When I hear someone tell me that they are too busy or that they forgot to call, then I what I really hear instead, is that I am not as important as other things in their life right now, so that is a red-flag to me that they are not atrue friend because their level of integrity is poor.
Hold people accountable for their words because when it boils down to trust—your word is your bond.
That's all from me now. I hope that we could all learn and most importantly BE that GENUINE FRIEND to those who care and really trust us.Kisses,
Serene
new past